Vocation Stories - Sr Mary Immanuel

Written in 2012: 

The very thought of a vocation left me with panic attacks and anxiety; I was bent on marriage with a man I was deeply in love with and there was no way I would become a Sister... but God obviously had other plans. At the beginning of 2010 I was very unhappy. Even though I had been involved with my parish, I felt a certain disconnection of purpose and meaning to my life and just wanted out. I realised I was not ready for marriage and even though I loved my boyfriend very much, I felt I had to end the relationship.

I went to Alice Springs for my final social work university placement and, to be honest, things just went downhill. Instead of embracing the sacrifice He asked of me, I responded with anger and neglected my relationship with Him. By the end of my placement, I was unhappy. Those few months after I came home to Sydney, although they were unimaginably hard, were a very special time with the Lord because He showed me the depths of His love. In those few months, I found myself clinging to Him in a way I had never done before and the Cross became very healing for me.

One fine October day, Mother Mary Therese asked me about joining them. I thought it was a joke and laughed it off, but the question stuck with me and I began to see things falling into place. It was now or never because I knew if I didn't say yes I would keep running away. After a few months of discernment (and many tears) I finally gained courage to say yes, and on February 11, I entered as an aspirant.

It's now been a year and a half since I've joined. I was always worrying about the future and to be honest, much of my aspirancy and postulancy was a struggle with this. But with each step I have taken I have found more peace, more joy and more purpose. I have never felt so free and so happy. As I surrendered and listened to Him, letting go of what I thought was best, He showed me what was even greater and I am still discovering that! When I first entered, I said I'd give Him a year. A year later, to my surprise, I became a novice. How my life will unfold I do not know, but what I do know is this, "gently He will lead me, his rod and his staff, gently to still waters", into a future that I know is filled with great hope.

Sister Mary Immanuel professed first vows on the 31st of May, 2013.

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